On the other hand, because we are primarily emotional, we are positively affected by people who say and do things that make us feel important and valuable. Everything that a person does or says that raises our self-esteem and feelings of personal value causes us to like and respect ourselves more, makes us feel happier about ourselves. As a result, we feel positive toward the person who is saying and doing the things that make us feel better about ourselves.
Your job is to become a “relationship expert” by developing the habits of speaking and acting that make people feel important and valuable. When you develop the habit of doing and saying the things that cause people to feel good about themselves, their lives, their work and families, all kinds of doors will open up for you. You will be welcomed everywhere you go. People will like you and respect you and want to be around you. They will want to hire you and promote you, and work for you and buy from you. They will accept your influence and leadership and give you power and position in your work and in your community.
The good news is that, “Everything you do or say that causes another person to feel better in any way also causes you to feel better to the same degree.” When you motivate, encourage or inspire someone else, you feel motivated, encouraged and inspired yourself. Everything you do to raise the self-esteem of others raises your self-esteem as well.
As it happens, the reverse is also true. Everything that you do or say that hurts another person, makes them feel less important, or lowers their self-esteem, also has the same effect on you. This is why negative people always seem to be angry and unhappy. They suffer from low self-esteem. They have negative self-images. They are frustrated and difficult to get along with. They are ineffective in their human relations and usually poor at their work. Everything that they do or say that hurts another person in any way also hurts themselves.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
Sometimes there is meditation upon superior beings, supposed real—heroes, angels, saints, masters, and divine incarnations. In this case there are several dangers to be carefully avoided. In great admiration for the qualities of these, pictured as exceptional beings there is often the feeling that such perfection can hardly be expected in us ordinary people. This reduces the character-building effect,
and also tends to a harsh judgment of our fellow-men, since they, too, are ordinary people, and to them therefore we do not easily attribute the virtues predicated of our beloved ideal.
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Often, unhappy people say that they are sacrificing their own happiness so that they can make others happy. But the rule is that, “You cannot give away what you don’t have. You cannot make other people happy if you are unhappy yourself.”
If you want to have happy children, be a happy parent. If you want happy employees and coworkers, be a happy boss and colleague. If you want to have happy customers, be a happy salesperson. If you want to improve the quality of the life of anyone else, begin by improving the quality of your own inner life.
Make Others Feel Important
In one of the 1001 Tales of the Arabian Nights, there was the story of a treasure cave that could only be opened if the person said the magic words, “Open Sesame!” At that sound, the vast wall would move aside and unlimited treasures would be revealed and available to the person who had uttered the magic words.
In putting people first, the “Open Sesame!” of human relationships is to “make others feel important.” Making others feel important satisfies the deepest subconscious cravings of human nature. Everything you do or fail to do can be judged against this standard. Does it make people feel more important or less important? That is the question.
Sometimes I ask my audiences, “What percentage of the time are people emotional, and what percentage of the time are people logical?” They respond with various answers and proportions. But the true answer is that people are 100% emotional. People decide emotionally and then justify logically. But emotion comes first.
With regard to your emotions, the rule is once more that, “Everything counts!” Everything that happens in your life affects you emotionally in some way. Everything that affects you makes you happy or sad, motivated or de-motivated, loving or angry, fearful or confident. Nothing is neutral.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
“For true love is inexhaustible: the more you give, the more you have. And if you
go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant
is its flow.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
Fully 85% of your happiness in life is going to come from your relationships with
other people. As Aristotle said, “Human beings are social creatures.” We live
within the context of the people in our lives. How well we get along with them,
and they with us, largely determines the quality of everything that happens to us.
Your most important goal in life is to assure your own happiness. If you do not
place your own happiness as the central organizing principle of your own life, no
one else will do it for you. Each person is intensely focused on doing the things
that make him or her happy. As much as we care about the happiness of others, in a natural, automatic and instinctive way, our happiness always seems to take
precedence over that of anyone else’s.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
Look at your own life and work. Ask yourself, “What are the factors that
determine how rapidly I achieve my most important goals?”
The 80/20 Rule seems to apply to the subject of constraints in a special way. You
will find that fully 80% of the constraints or limitations that are holding you back
from achieving your goal are within yourself, not in the world around you. They are contained on your own attitudes, beliefs, fears, or lack of a particular skill or quality. Only 20% of your constraints are external to you or to your business.
Develop the habit of looking into yourself for the solutions to your problems. Ask
this question, “What is it in me that is holding me back from achieving this goal?”
What could it be? Whatever it is, identify it clearly, set a goal to overcome the
limitation, or develop the habit, and then take action on it every day until you are
successful. As the Roman philosopher Herodotus wrote, “When a man’s fight begins with himself, then he is really worth something.”
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
The best restaurants have identified the critical constraint to business growth. It is
not the amount of food or drink that each person consumes. This is largely fixed.
No matter how artful the marketing or how polite the waiter, people are not going
to eat or drink much more than they already do.
Instead, the critical constraint in business growth for a restaurant, and for many
other businesses, is how often customers return to the restaurant in the course of the year. One of my restaurant clients found that the average guest was visiting the
restaurant every two months. They then designed a program of customer service
and satisfaction that was so effective that people began visiting the restaurant more
often. First they came an average of every six weeks, then every four weeks.
By using this strategy, they were able to double and triple the sales and
profitability of their restaurants without the expensive advertising that would be
necessary to attract new diners to the restaurant in the first place. Repeat business
was the key to greater success, rather than new business.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
If you live in the continent with the 4 seasons, then you would have had snow season. Identical winter funny snowman, snowball wars, snow scraper and a glass of warm coffee. But snow is also synonymous with the sport. Sports that can be played in the snow are a sport sled, skis, and others. Ski, sport is one of the great demands by many people in the world. Sports that rely on sticks and skateboards are very challenging.
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Another important habit for you to develop is the habit of punctuality. Less than
five percent of people are punctual every single time. And everybody knows who
they are. They stand out. They are admired and respected by others. Opportunities
open up for them. They are considered to be more valuable and more competent
than others simply as the result of habitual punctuality.
Vince Lombardi, when he took over the Green Bay Packers, found that the players
often arrived at the bus after the scheduled time of departure. He therefore initiated what he called “Lombardi Time.” This was 15 minutes before the scheduled time. From that day forward, if the bus was leaving at 10:00am, everyone was expected to be on the bus by 9:45 am. If they weren’t, the bus left without them. This only had to happen once for the players to get the message.
Remember, anything that you do repeatedly, over and over, soon becomes a new
habit. Resolve that, “Just for today, I am going to be punctual for every meeting.”
Don’t try to change your whole life at one time. Live in what Dale Carnegie called
“water tight compartments.” Focus on changing one behavior at a time, one day at
a time, until it locks in and becomes permanent.
With punctuality, resolve to be punctual to your very next appointment or meeting.
Then, resolve to be punctual for the next meeting as well. Do this, one meeting or
event after another until it begins to become automatic and easy. In no time at all,
you will have developed the habit of punctuality. Other aspects of your life will
seem to change and improve at the same time.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
Not long ago, I was preparing to give testimony in a large lawsuit in Los Angeles. I
met with the senior trial lawyer for several hours. At the end, he turned over a box
full of materials to me and said, “I hope you will have a chance to read through this material before you testify.”
I replied, “I always believe in preparing thoroughly for every important meeting.
In fact, I believe in over preparing.”
He looked me straight in the eye and smiled, and said, “I do not believe there is
such a word.”
I learned later that he was one of the most skilled and highest paid lawyers in the
United States. In that one case alone, he went on to save his client more than $300
million dollars as the result of his commitment to not only preparing, but to “over
preparing.” You should do the same.
The wonderful advantage of developing the habit of thorough preparation, and
doing your homework prior to every meeting, is that it gives you a tremendous
sense of confidence and competence when you go in. It gives you a psychological
edge that enables you to perform at your best. It often wins you great business and
personal victories that change the whole direction of your life.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
To get the most out of yourself and your life, and to increase your return on the
investment of your time, you should develop the habit of preparing thoroughly for
every meeting and interview, both inside your company and with people on the
outside. Thorough preparation takes a little time at the beginning, but can lead to
tremendous savings of time later on.
Customers always know when a salesperson is thoroughly prepared. Juries always
know when the lawyer is thoroughly prepared. Prospective employers always know when the applicant is thoroughly prepared. Make it a habit to do your homework and get all of your ducks in a row prior to any meeting of importance or significance. Sometimes, the element of preparation is the critical factor that
enables you to impress everyone present, and achieve great success.
The Value of Preparation
Some time ago, I was asked by the executive vice president of a large company to
attend the annual business meeting and lead the group through a strategic planning
exercise. As it turned out, this company had a very head strong and dominating
president who took over every discussion of strategy and dominated it, taking little
or no input from the other executives present. As a result, people were emoralized
and the company was floundering in the marketplace.
I was to be introduced as a “surprise” to the president and the team of senior
executives. If I was not successful, the consequences for the company could be
serious. I therefore asked them to send me the outlines and agendas from their
previous executive committee meetings. I received about 200 pages of notes and
observations that had been typed up and distributed over the previous year. The
amount of information was almost overwhelming.
Nonetheless, I was determined to do a good job. I sat down and spent 12 solid
hours reading, reviewing and taking notes from the discussions that had taken
place in the past. I noticed that the president was continually quoting Peter Drucker
and Tom Peters to make his points. As it happened, I was intimately familiar with
the work of both of these management experts.
When the meeting began, everyone took his or her places around a large U shaped
table. The executive vice president who had brought me in stood up and introduced
me and told everyone, including the president, that he had invited me in to
facilitate the discussion. Everyone looked at each other and at the president, and
then back to me. The room was full of tension.
Taken from : Million Dollar Habits
