What Others Might Say
The second fear that we learn early in life, which then affects us for the rest of our lives, is the fear of rejection, or criticism. We are all sensitive to the opinions of others, especially to the opinions and reactions of our parents when we are growing up. Parents often take advantage of this need to please to control and manipulate their children. The way they do it is by giving or withholding approval and
support, based on the behavior of the child at the moment.
When the child does or says something that the parents don’t like, they immediately become rejecting and critical of the child. Since the approval and support of the parent is like a psychological lifeline to the emotional health of the child, the child is immediately affected and pulls back from the behavior in order to regain the love and approval of the parents.
Parents very soon slip into the habit of manipulating the child with “carrot and stick” treatment. They alternate with approval and disapproval, with compliments and criticism, to control and manipulate the child’s behavior.
As a child, you are too young to understand what is going on. You know only one thing. The love and approval of your parents is indispensable to your well-being. It is the key to your emotional health. You therefore learn that, “If you want to get along, you go along.” At an early age, you begin to conform your behaviors to earn the approval, and avoid the disapproval, of your parents.
Taken From : Million dollar habits
